Half-Empty or Half-Full?

Contrary to much of what we hear these days, there are some real advantages to being a woman in our society. One true victory of the movement is that we are allowed to define our role.

I feel pretty confident saying that most guys in my position would say that they are unemployed. I, on the other hand, have the option of saying that I am a homemaker, and we can all agree that it's a valuable occupation (if seriously underpaid).

Right after my last job tanked, I thought I was enemployed. I felt unemployed. I was contemplating and mapping my next career move, fighting the inner fear that perhaps I'm just not cut out for the work world (another topic entirely).

There's a narcotic to being at home, though. As the days start to slide by I find that I don't miss the timeclock. I start morphing into the homemaker, which, by the way, is not something I'm particularly good at. If there were real justice in the world I would have the ambition and skills to be the money-maker and Tom could stay home. He's got mad housekeeping skills. Way better than mine.

ANYWAY -- being a homemaker is a lot like being a farmer. NOTE: I agree with the school of thought that "housewife" is a pejorative term. I am not married to my house. "Homemaker" describes the entirety of the role. It's holistic. But back to the point at hand...farmers also do not work by the timeclock (at least not in my romantic fantasy world), rather they work according to the rhythm of life each day and season. I'm always amazed at how much of my day is ruled by meal planning or preparation. And each season brings its demands of school or vacation or holidays...

The problem with such work, however, is that it is not neatly confined to a workday. I, like the farmer, have the luxury of deciding when I want to work, but, also like the farmer, I will get out of it what I put into it. Too much time spent sleeping, playing Freecell, doing crosswords, or blogging makes for a home that I cringe to call my own. I'm really working on this issue. And there's always work to be done. Even on vacation, weekends, and evenings. Sometimes especially then.

And, truth be told, I'm not even completely unemployed. I'm back to tending to Brandon, now 8 months old. Now I'm also following the rhythms of feedings, diapers, and naps. Still trying to find my balance with all this. But it's sort of a "nicotine patch" for paycheck withdrawal, and it fulfills my need for a purpose. Nurturing a human soul is one of the higher callings in life, or so I keep telling myself.

It's all in how you look at it.